Things I’ve decided to do since Bob died…in no real order!

  1. stop smoking…or at least cut down significantly (electronic cigarette purchased!…well it’s a start!)
  2. Drink alcohol only at weekends…or at least stop drinking Monday to Thursday! (I do love my Sunday lunchtime drinkies!)
  3. Accept every invitation to go out…or at least give it reasonable consideration before saying no!
  4. Say no, politely when I don’t want to do something or go somewhere!’s okay to want to stay in and wallow!
  5. Go see live music!…I always loved it and did it a lot with Bob years ago…haven’t done enough recently
  6.  Keep the house clean and de-clutter. Thinking I was going to have to sell made me realise how much I need to do this!…will be easier to manage when I finally do.
  7. Make a Will!…Bob died without one…Nuff said!
  8. Look after the garden and at least learn what the plants are called and how to look after them. Thinking I might have to leave made me notice it more and appreciate it!

photo (92)photo (88)photo (91)photo (90)

9. Make sure I get paid for the work I do!…being passionate about what I do has meant  I’ve done way too much for nothing…can’t afford to do this any more.

10. Travel…haven’t been too many places, really need to see more of the world.

11. Following on from 10. Get an inter rail ticket and travel around Europe… Alone!…just like       T did but on less of a “shoe string” budget ( hopefully) if T can do it, so can I!

12. Go to a music festival…I’ve watched way too many on TV and sat there thinking I would        love to be there…about time I went for real (fits with 5.)

13. Start looking after the pennies…you know the saying!!

14. Appreciate and value the people that matter, those who care about me and show they          care through their words and more importantly their actions…and stop bothering                with those that don’t “bother”  with me!

15. Remember to eat!…pretty basic stuff I know but easily forgotten at such times!

16. Re above…remember that food needs to be bought and if I run out of tea bags, milk or         have nothing for dinner I’m the only one to blame!

17. Tell the people I love that I love them….stop telling everyone I love them when I’ve             had too much to drink and reserve the “love” word for people I really do! (Note to                 self…I really love everyone when I’m drunk so not sure how workable this will be,             but try doing it sober more often!)

18. Stop listening to Coldplay’s “The Scientist”…                                                                                   (see…. always makes me cry            and I can’t “go back to the start” and he won’t “come back and haunt me” even if I                want him to!

19. Go to the theatre…I love the theatre and haven’t done it enough recently.

20. Take lots of photos… Photos aid memories, you can never have enough!                                 (see…

21. Re above, get a decent camera

22. Get my eyes tested…my eye sight has gotten so bad in the last three months. I really           need to get some proper specs and not go down the Bobby route of optical care!

23. Clear the fridge out regularly…Bob was always fridge/food monitor….stuff dies in there        and you can get ill from eating it!

24. Reminisce about the past but live for today and think about tomorrow...I know, pretty         deep after the last one!

25. Throw myself back into my work…but work to live not live to work!. I.e. get some                  work/life balance

26. Write “that” book

27. Stop talking to myself…No one can hear you Gail!….oh there I go again!

28. Spend less time on Facebook…Candy Crush is a time filler and is addictive, but totally           unproductive and dulls your mind! (although it’s gotten me though many a sleepless           night so has served a purpose)

29. Cook a meal from scratch occasionally, M&S ping meals are fine, but there’s nothing            like home cooking.

30. Do the lottery occasionally, you’ve got to be in it to win it…and all that!

31. Sort the bathroom out and get a proper shower!

32. Sort the car out and get a proper car!

33. Sort the washing machine out and get a proper washing machine!

34. Exercise!

35. Keep remembering that he died without pain and felt nothing…and there was nothing I        could do to stop what happened. I.e stop blaming myself and feeling guilty!

36. don’t take anything or anyone for can change in an instant!

37. Keep breathing!

38. Stop “beating myself up”  when I don’t stick to any of the above…it’s only been 3                   months after all and that’s no time at all after 30 years.

About Oxfordshire Family Support Network

Oxfordshire Family Support Network (OxFSN) is a not-for-profit organisation run by and for family carers of people with learning disabilities – both children and adults. Oxfordshire Family Support Network (OXFSN) was set up in 2007 by family carers who wanted to use their experience to help others in the same situation, based on our belief that family carers are experts by their lived experience.
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5 Responses to Things I’ve decided to do since Bob died…in no real order!

  1. Debs Aspland says:

    And honey, remember you will not be doing any of this alone (except the rail trip). You have lots of friends and family who will always be here for you xxx

  2. Jill bull says:

    Just done the will thing Gail it’s not as difficult as you think quite painless really! There is a sense of relief that you have sorted things. Can recommend someone if you need it ? X

  3. Pingback: Independence | A Bit Missing

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