Decluttering, chargers and memories

I’m trying to sell my house. It’s a lovely house. It needs some work to be fair but it’s priced (I think and hope) to reflect that. It’s been my family home for almost 22 years and I love it. So many happy memories of our life here, but that doesn’t sell a house does it!

Trying to sell your house is a great way to focus on the whole decluttering gig. So, I’ve been decluttering. Decluttering and cleaning and buying flowers and buying air fresheners… and cleaning….and cleaning! Well, to be honest not as much decluttering as I should have….shoving stuff in cupboards and hiding other stuff under throws, but you get the gist.

It’s really not me at all. I’ve always maintained that…IMG_1410

I’m a massive hoarder too! Always have been…probably always will be, but if I want to sell this place and move somewhere smaller I need to get rid of some crap!

I’ve had my moments of decluttering. A few years ago I decided to clear out the under-stairs cupboard. I found baby clothes. Not even nice baby clothes that I’d saved for the memories but, crappy little baby grows that no one would want and you wouldn’t want to see a baby in. I found four old handbags and two old coats I’d forgotten I’d ever owned. Bob told his friends and workmates that I’d also found Lord Lucan and Shergar….cheeky sod!!

I started to try and sell my house in September last year and now its Spring. The sun shines. The windows look dirty. Everything looks dustier!…the term Spring cleaning happened for a reason!

I bought a window vacuum (to put the fun back in window cleaning…er hum!) but lost the charger. I found loads of chargers, for old phones and other devices but not the one I wanted…typical. I ordered a new one on amazon and then just an hour before it was delivered I found the old one (under G’s bed…how it got there is beyond me.)….so now I have a spare…it’s all good!

I also found a load of old 8 mil video tapes for the old video recorder, but couldn’t find the charger for that either. Searched high and low to no avail. The good thing about being a hoarder is that I knew there was absolutely no chance that I’d thrown it away so it must be here somewhere. It eventually turned up in a drawer in bedroom…put there for safe keeping obviously!

So, I’ve spent the last few evenings looking at old video tapes.

So emotional!

Watching the kids as kids. Family holidays. Family visits.  School plays, sports days and kids club trips out. ‘Plays’ in the garden. Dramas in the house. The re-enactment of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – a major highlight!

There is something about seeing people on video, hearing their voices. It’s pretty special. G’s laugh… a prepubescent girly giggle as opposed to the manly guffaw he has now. The squeaky, high pitched voices of a four/five year old. You can look at photographs and remember how they looked but you do forget how they sounded. It was good to hear again and made me smile. G enjoyed watching them at the weekend too!

And then there was Bob!  Alive. Full of life. Being Bob.

Seeing him is like having him back for a moment. As I’m typing this I’m crying but when I watched I just smiled. It was good! We had it good. I was very lucky and I have to keep reminding myself of that.

So, now since starting to write this post I’ve had an offer on the house that I’ve accepted. It’s early days so I’m not getting too excited. We all know how these things can go ‘belly up’, but I’m feeling hopeful.

It’s also feeling a bit real and there are mixed emotions. It’s going to be really hard to leave here.

It’s almost two years (how can that be possible?) since Bob died. I do miss the grumpy old bastard! Life isn’t the same without him.  I wish I’d filmed more. I wish I’d taken more photographs and filmed more….there was so much more!

I’ll take that with me though…that and the video tapes, the camera and the charger… and the memories. So many memories!

About Oxfordshire Family Support Network

Oxfordshire Family Support Network (OxFSN) is a not-for-profit organisation run by and for family carers of people with learning disabilities – both children and adults. Oxfordshire Family Support Network (OXFSN) was set up in 2007 by family carers who wanted to use their experience to help others in the same situation, based on our belief that family carers are experts by their lived experience.
This entry was posted in grief. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s